


Playing For Keeps

by Buckyybarnes16



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Children of Characters, F/M, Marriage, Memory Loss, Parenthood
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-04
Updated: 2019-12-08
Packaged: 2020-04-07 19:45:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 18,002
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19091845
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Buckyybarnes16/pseuds/Buckyybarnes16
Summary: Bucky Barnes was used to waking up years in the future. Usually he was trapped in a cryogenic chamber and set out to kill someone. Waking up in a warm bed with a wedding ring on his finger and two little girls in pink bedrooms down the hall was a new one.OrA story where Bucky wakes up seven years from his last memory and wonders how he got so lucky, and if he’ll be lucky enough to keep it.





	1. One.

Bucky Barnes woke with a start. There was a bright light shining through the curtains into a room that was not at all familiar. The bed he was in while comfortable was not his own, although as he buried down deeper into the sheet’s he wasn’t going to complain about it. It was far better than the mattress he’d been sleeping on in Bucharest. His eyes scanned the room, it was homely a large television sat across from the bed on the dresser and frames hung on the walls. He rubbed his eyes as he rolled in the bed, he pulled his hand away from his face confused by the gold band that sat on his ring finger. His gaze landed on a photo sitting on the bedside table and his throat went dry.

“What the fuck?’ he whispered, reaching out to grab the image. He knew his own face well enough to see it was him smiling back from the picture frame. He could not remember ever being as happy as this version of himself though. That was the first confusing part, the second and possibly hardest bit to understand was the woman he had underneath his arm and the two small girls standing in front of them.

He heard it then, the house he was in wasn’t silent. There was laughter coming from down the hall, a husky voice reminding children to keep it down so their father could sleep. The giggles rang out again and small footsteps pattered to the door. Please don’t let them come in here, Bucky thought. He had no idea what he would do, no idea how to handle this situation. Obviously, it wasn’t going to be his lucky day, the door handle pulled down and the two girls in the photo ran into the room.

‘Daddy,’ one of the voices said and Bucky swore his throat was closed. He’d had panic attacks before, but this felt different, somehow deep down he knew he loved these children. Even if he didn’t know who they were. “You’re awake, we’ve missed you so much.”

Bucky wondered where he had been for them to have missed him, yet as they clambered onto the bed, he didn’t shy away from the comfort their small bodies cuddling his gave. The smaller of the two remained curled up in his lap, her head tucking neatly under his chin as she sucked her thumb into her mouth.

“Good morning,’ he said quietly. He didn’t want to scare them, he loved them. At least he was quite sure he did. “Where is your mother?”

“Mommy is cooking breakfast.’ The older one said, she had a gap in her front teeth, and she tripped over the s sounds in her sentence. “It’s your favorite.”

“Blueberry pancakes?’ Bucky said and he noticed the faint smell of blueberries in the air. His stomach growled; he was hungry. The little one on his lap nodded her head, her hand that wasn’t in her mouth ran back and forth across his metal arm. They didn’t seem bothered by it at all, this was normal for them.

“Food’s ready,’ the husky voice called from the kitchen. “I cooked it, I’m not bringing it to you all.’

The older one raced from the room her footsteps padding down the hall. The little one didn’t move at all, if anything her hold on him got tighter. Bucky stood, resting her on his hip as he made his way out of the bedroom. He was glad he was in the last room in the hall, he obviously lived here and not knowing how to make his way to the kitchen would have been strange.

He made his way slowly down the hallway, pausing to look at the photo frames that lined the walls. This felt familiar, comfortable and yet at the same time so unbelievably foreign. There were pictures of his wedding day, the births of his daughters and countless family holidays. He was surprised to see Steve and Sam smiling back at him from some of the photos. Thor and another tiny woman smiled with his ‘wife’ in others. He walked past two open rooms, small beds and tiny dolls in each of them.

The doors gave him answers though; signs with the names of his children. He didn’t know which one Freya was and which was Maggie but it was a start. The smell of blueberry pancakes was getting closer and he left the hallway to find a huge open plan living area. He didn’t know if he had ever seen a house this nice in his life, yet somehow it was his.

“You better hurry up and sit-down Daddy’ the husky voice said, and he glanced away from the huge glass windows towards the dining table. His heart skipped a beat as he took in the sight of her, she was tiny, and her big brown eyes sparkled up at him as he approached the table. Her plump, strawberry coloured lips spread into a grin and there was a small voice in his head that was telling him he was a lucky bastard. “Freya is going to eat everything if you don’t grab a plate.”

He glanced over at his older daughter; Freya and a chuckle escaped him. She was shovelling pancakes into her mouth faster than he’d ever seen before. Bucky sat down, placing Maggie into the seat next to him. His wife stood from her chair, fussing around to fill a plate for him and their daughter. He glanced up at her as she set a large stack of perfectly cooked pancakes in front of him and she didn’t shy away as he trailed them over her body. He hadn’t seen a woman with a figure quite like hers since before he went to war, that Bucky would have been all over her. He grinned as his eyes landed on her bare feet, her toenails painted a glittery blue.

She brushed her hand through his hair, and he shivered, again the feeling was foreign but not uncomfortable.

“You got in late babe.” She said and he grimaced around a mouthful of pancakes. “I’m going to have to have words with Steve today about taking you for weeks at a time and then returning you after he promises.”

“Steve?” Bucky said. “Is he coming here, today?” She frowned at him as she sat back down at the opposite end of the table. Apparently, he should have known this. “It’s Sunday Daddy, Uncle Steve and Uncle Sam always come over on Sunday. That’s when you make us milkshakes.” Freya said, her own tiny features showing some concern.

Bucky grinned sheepishly and shrugged his shoulder. “Daddy’s being silly.” He said but he knew it didn’t sound convincing. At least, if the frown on his wife’s face was anything to go by, he hadn’t convinced her. She continued to frown at him as he dropped his gaze from her face back to his plate.

He would get answers soon, when Steve arrived, they could work this out together. He glanced back up at the people surrounding him. He just needed to play it cool until then.


	2. Two.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for your response so far! I didn’t expect for a strange little idea I had to be so well received. I hope you enjoy this chapter just as much.

Five hours, he’d been entertaining his children for five hours before Steve’s voice finally rang out through the house.

“Where are my girls?” He’d called and Bucky had found that his children had been more than happy to run from his company to greet his best friend. Bucky stood slowly, careful not to tread on any of the tiny dolls shoes that surrounded him. He’d already done that once today and he was not going to make that mistake again. He’d spent five hours ignoring and hiding from his wife, her watchful gaze far too hard to miss as he’d played uncomfortably with his daughters. He didn’t have a chance to hide from her this time as she blocked his way from Freya’s room by standing in the doorway.

“What’s going on with you?” She said, folding her arms across her chest. Bucky tried to be a gentleman, but his eyes strayed anyway. He licked his lips, his throat feeling tight again.

“Nothing,’ he said clearing his throat. “Nothing is wrong with me.”

“Bullshit.” She said and Bucky tried to work out if he could make it out the bedroom window before she yelled out to Steve. “You always get a little strange when you’ve been away from the girls but never like this Bucky.”

“I’m fine.” He said, his hand coming out to land on her shoulder in a way he hoped was reassuring. He still didn’t even know her name, he’d tried to find her driver’s license earlier to work it out but she either didn’t have one or she kept it well hidden. “I’m just tired, I’m sorry I worried you.”

She gnawed at her bottom lip, close to believing him but still apprehensive.

“You haven’t kissed me since you got home.” She said quietly and his stomach fell. His palms got immediately clammy and he knew there was no way he could talk his way out of this one. He took a step closer to her, enjoying the sweet, floral scent of her perfume in his nostrils. She was even tinier when he stood this close, the top of her head barely skimming his collar bone. He wrapped an arm around her waist, the other hand weaving through her hair. Her eyes fluttered shut and he was in awe slightly of the way her eyelashes skimmed her cheekbone. His lips pressed to hers, and he prayed this was how he would normally do it. She seemed pleased, responding in turn by deepening the kiss.

“Sorry to interrupt.” Steve said and Bucky stepped back quickly. She smiled at Bucky, nodding once before turning around. Clearly Bucky had convinced her everything was ok.

“I have a bone to pick with you Rogers.’ She said, her finger pressing into Steve’s chest. Steve smirked down at her before glancing at Bucky and rolling his eyes.

“Figured you would Darcy,’ he said with a laugh. “You always do.”

The doorbell rang out through the house and she glared at Steve. She turned on her heel, yelling at the girls to leave the front door shut as she raced through the house. Darcy, Bucky’s nostrils flared as he watched her leave. He turned back to Steve, sighing as he did. 

“We need to talk.” Bucky said and Steve nodded. He knew something was wrong and he had barely even spoken yet.

“Now?” Steve said glancing down the hallway and Bucky shook his head. He could hear Sam’s loud voice in the living room and the sound of an unfamiliar woman talking to Darcy. 

His children were laughing loudly and racing around the house. He knew this wasn’t the place to talk, they would find a time to do so but Bucky wasn’t going to do when people he cared about could hear.

Even if caring for them felt like someone else’s job. A job for a different Bucky.

***

“Where have we been for the last few weeks?” Bucky said quietly as he stood around the barbecue with Steve and Sam. Sam folded his arms across his chest and Bucky wanted to point out to him that even though Steve wears all his clothes in a size too small doesn’t mean he should. It doesn’t mean anyone should.

“What do you mean?” Steve said and Bucky groaned. He glanced behind him, pleased to see Darcy was still in the kitchen with Sam’s fiancée Leah. Freya and Maggie were busy in the cubby house that Bucky had apparently built them. He couldn’t remember it, but he was quite proud of himself as he’d looked at it earlier.

“I can’t remember a fucking thing.” Bucky said. “I woke up this morning and couldn’t remember anything.”

Sam clapped him on the shoulder. “We were in Siberia Bucky, took out a Hydra cell. You don’t remember anything from the last three weeks?”

“No,’ Bucky shook his head and tried to ignore the pitying looks that his friends gave him. He cleared his throat and focused on turning the meat he was cooking to stop the tears from falling down his face. “I can’t remember anything from the last seven years.”

“That’s not a funny joke Bucky.” Steve said and Bucky glared at him. Sam took a step closer to them, making the circle they were speaking in smaller. Understanding now why Bucky had been so adamant they speak outside instead of around the kitchen table as they usually did.

“I wish I was joking Steve.’ Bucky swore and tried to work out how to say what he needed to say. “I woke up in a bed I don’t remember, surrounded by my wife and children and I didn’t even know their names. I don’t remember a single fucking second of my life since I woke up with my arm in that clamp in Bucharest.”

A tray clattered on the deck behind him and he turned, Darcy’s shocked face looking back at him. He started towards her and he noticed her hands shake.

“I knew you were fucking lying.” She whispered and Bucky noticed Steve gather the girls inside from the corner of his eyes. Leah and Sam closed the back door behind them, but Steve hung around, ready to step in if he was needed. “I knew something was wrong with you and you lied right to my face.”

“Darcy,’ Bucky whispered. He didn’t mean to hurt her; he hadn’t done this on purpose. “I’m so sorry.”

“You’re sorry?” She yelled. “You don’t remember me or our children and all you can say is I’m sorry?”

“Darce,’ Steve said, reaching out and catching her arm before she slammed it down onto Bucky’s chest. Bucky knew why, if the last thing he remembered was Bucharest there was no real way of knowing how he would react to aggression. He had obviously been living in control of The Winter Soldier side of himself for a while now, but if he had regressed with this memory loss than there was no saying what he would do to Darcy. “We will work this out.”

She turned to Steve, the glare in her eyes enough to make a weaker man flee. “You bet your ass you’re going to fix this Steve Rogers. This is your fault, it’s always your fucking fault.”

Bucky knew she didn’t mean that and by the way Steve wrapped the crying woman up in her arms he clearly knew as well. She cried onto Steve’s chest and Bucky’s hands clenched into fists in his desire to reach out and pull her into his own arms. He knew he couldn’t, he couldn’t touch her until they had worked this out.

They stood on the back deck, the food on the barbecue long forgotten and the smell of burnt meat filling the air around them. Darcy’s sobs quietened and she pulled away from the wet spot she’d left on Steve’s shirt. She rubbed her hands on her eyes, turning back to face her husband. She looked between Bucky and Steve, folding her arms across her chest.

“What’s the plan?” She said and Bucky faltered. He had no plan; he had no idea how to plan for something like this. Steve scratched the back of his neck and Darcy tapped her foot impatiently. “I want my husband back and my daughters need their father so if you could both get your heads out of your asses and come up with a plan, I would be grateful.”

“I’ve got to make a few calls.” Steve said, he clapped Bucky on the shoulder and pulled his phone from his pocket. He stepped away, and Bucky took a chance to look at Darcy. Her eyes were already on him, an unimpressed glare on her face. 

“Someday you’re going to push me too far and I’m going to leave you Bucky Barnes.” She said, her eyes filling up with tears again. Bucky didn’t stop himself as his thumb brushed a falling tear from her cheek. He smiled sheepishly at her. “I don’t deserve some of the dumb shit you make me deal with.”

I don’t doubt that at all doll.” He said and she smiled sadly, shaking her head.

“I’ll leave and marry a nice doctor who doesn’t have some weird hero complex and buys me pretty things.” Bucky nodded, adamant that she should have been married to a doctor all along. He wished he knew how he had gotten her, how someone like him had ended up with anyone let alone a girl like her.

“He’d bore you.” Bucky said, as if he had any right to say it. He didn’t know anything but her name, yet somehow it felt right. She would grow bored with a man like that, someone safe would never be enough for her. 

“I hate you.” She whispered, wiping her tears away quickly as the backdoor slid open. Freya’s face appeared, apprehensive as she looked at her parents. Maggie was behind her, the smaller girls hand wrapped tightly in her sister’s shirt. 

“Are you fighting?” Freya whispered and Bucky felt his heart break all over again. Sam mouthed an apology at Bucky, he had clearly lost in his battle to keep them inside. Darcy waved their daughters to them, picking them up and balancing one on each hip.

“No,’ she pressed a kiss to each girl’s forehead. “We don’t fight in this house; we love each other too much to fight. Isn’t that right Daddy?”

Bucky nodded, his eyes meeting Darcy’s. He hoped she knew he was serious; he did love them he just couldn’t remember why. Maggie’s hands reach out for him and he reluctantly pulled the small girl into his arms. Sam stepped out onto the deck, standing close enough that he could remove the girls from any danger if it suddenly arose.

“Daddy, sad.” Maggie said, her tiny voice washing over Bucky. She didn’t speak, had not spoken to him all day regardless of his desperate attempts to make her do so.

“No, Daddy isn’t sad.” He pressed a kiss to her forehead. “You girls don’t need to worry. You don’t ever need to worry about anything.” 

He brushed the dark ringlets back from Freya’s face. He heard Steve farewell the person on the other end of his phone call. 

“We got to go Buck,’ he said as he joined them. “We have someone to see.”

“Now?’ he said, and Steve nodded. Bucky couldn’t breathe again. Darcy’s eyes welled with tears and Freya became frantic.

“You just got back Daddy.’ She cried. “You promised last time you weren’t going to go again.”

“Hey,’ Bucky said as he passed Maggie back to Darcy as well. “Daddy will be back, I always come, back don’t I?”

Freya nodded and Bucky pressed a kiss to each of his daughters’ foreheads. He took a deep breath in as he did it, letting the scent of strawberry shampoo fill his nostrils. He faltered slightly as he looked at Darcy, sighing when she reached up and pressed a kiss to the corner of his mouth.

“You come back to me,’ she whispered, and Bucky nodded. He took a step back, gesturing for Steve and Sam to hurry and leave for fear he was about to break. Bucky slid in the back of Steve’s car, watching as his family waved from the front window. He wanted to come back here, he knew that wholeheartedly. This was his home, he just had to find a way back to it.


	3. Three.

Tony Stark was not someone Bucky ever thought would great him with a hug. Steve and Sam had used the hour-long drive to fill Bucky in on what had happened after Bucharest – about Zemo and Tony finding out that Bucky had killed his parents.

Bucky had gone to Wakanda and Steve had gone into hiding, although it had only been six months before Tony Stark had completed the damage control necessary to bring them back to New York.

Bucky had been apprehensive when Steve had said Tony had forgiven him, that there would be no bad blood between the two of them. 

Sam had assured him that he would want to help, apparently Tony had paid for Bucky’s wedding. Bucky hadn’t really believed any of it until he’d walked into Tony’s lab though. 

“You good?” Tony had said as he pulled away from Bucky. Bucky had shrugged his shoulders, not sure how to eloquently explain how he felt right now. “Obviously you’re not good, that was a stupid question.”

“Thank you,’ Bucky said gruffly as Tony directed him to a chair. “For offering to help me.”

Tony paused, looking up from the computer he was typing rapidly into. “I know you don’t remember it Terminator, but we are kind of friends these days. Plus, I’m rather fond of your wife and daughters.”

Bucky coughed, he didn’t want to be jealous of the fondness and familiarity everyone around him had with his family when he was completely unable to feel the same. Tony wore a wedding ring on his own left hand and a photo on his desk showed a red haired woman holding a baby. Seven years was a long time, thought Bucky. Everyone had changed, especially him.

“I’m just going to run some tests, see if it’s some sort of head injury that’s causing the amnesia.” Tony said. “You think that’s likely?” Steve asked and Tony shrugged.

“I think it’s not completely unlikely, Wilson over here said that anyone of you could have taken a knock to the head while you were out there being heroes.” Tony said, Bucky flinched as machines began whirring around him and a bright light ran over his face. It was over as quickly as it began though, and a robotic voice began to speak.

“Diagnostic test complete Sir.’ The computer spoke and Tony nodded. “Sergeant Barnes shows no cranium injuries that would be a root cause of his memory loss.”

Bucky’s heart sunk, of course the easy answer could not be the one he would receive. He didn’t look over at Steve and Sam, he wasn’t sure how he would react to the pity he knew would be visible there.

“Thanks Jarvis,’ Tony sighed. “You’re positive no one got him alone while you were in that Hydra bunker?”

“No one Tony.” Steve said seriously. “He was with Sam or me the whole time.” A positive in a very long list of negatives, thought Bucky. “We need to get Nat down here, if it’s going to take us longer to work out how to get his memories working then we need to make sure he’s not going to turn back into the Manchurian Candidate while we’re doing it. Jarvis to ask Nat to come in here.”

“Why Natalya?” Bucky said as Tony began shuffling things on his desk. It was unorganized and messy, causing Bucky anxiety by just looking at it.

“She’s memorized the words from your book before we burned it. We didn’t trust that no one else would talk if Hydra took them and tortured them.’ Steve said and Bucky nodded. “Plus, she’s the only one who speaks Russian.”

Nat entered the lab not five minutes later, her red hair up in a messy pile on the top of her head. Steve straightened up as she entered, fixing his shirt and making sure his hair was sitting right. Bucky rose an eyebrow in Sam’s direction, that hadn’t been a thing seven years ago and Bucky had to remember to ask what it was all about later.

“What is so important you made Jarvis call a code red?” She asked, folding her arms across her chest. They had clearly just pulled her from a workout and the unimpressed look was written all over her face.

“Bucky’s forgotten everything.” Tony said bluntly and Nat rose an eyebrow. “Last thing he remembers is getting arrested in Bucharest. We have to make sure he isn’t about to turn back into the super assassin and run off again.”

Nat faltered slightly as she stepped closer to Bucky. “You don’t remember anything? Darcy and the girls?”

Bucky shook his head and Nat’s face fell. “Oh Bucky,’ she looked like she wanted to comfort him, but she had no idea how. “We’ll work this out, there has to be a reason.”

“I know,’ Bucky said. “For now, I just need you to say the words Natalya. I need to make sure I can keep my family safe, from myself.”

Nat looked apprehensive. “You’re going to go home to them?”

”Not if you read those words and I turn back into him’ Bucky said seriously. “I don’t know how long its going to take to fix my brain and I need to go back to my family. So, say the words Nat, please.”

She nodded and held her hand up, stopping Steve from walking any closer. She wouldn’t need Steve to help subdue Bucky if he changed. She would oversee him, able to control him with her voice alone.

“Longing, Rusted, Seventeen, Daybreak, Furnace’ Nat said her voice loud and clear. A small amount of panic rose in Bucky’s chest, but he didn’t feel the urge to fight, not yet anyway. “Nine, Benign, Homecoming, One, Freight.”

She finished and they waited. Bucky didn’t feel the way he usually felt after hearing the words, the white noise that was usually in his brain when he was under Hydra’s control not filling his ears. “I’m good.”

Everyone in the room let out a deep sigh. Sam and Steve stepped closer now, Steve wrapping an arm around Nat’s shoulder as he spoke, “so what now?”

“Bucky goes home, and I’ll ring Bruce and maybe a few actual medical professionals that I know.’ Tony said, patting Bucky on the back. “For now, old man, just go home and get to know your family.”

Bucky nodded, the thought of going home causing more panic than the thought of being the Winter Soldier had. “If you want to stay here Bucky, you can.”

“It’s not that,’ Bucky pinched the bridge of his nose. “I want to go back to them, but I feel like an imposter, like I’ve taken some other guys life and I’m just keeping it for myself.”

He was met with looks of pity from all but Tony. “I know you don’t remember it happening to you but the best part about my relationship with Pepper was falling in love with her. You get to do that all over again Barnes and the girl’s already yours. Not many guys get to do that.”

Bucky’s jaw clenched; Tony was right.

“Alright Steve’ Bucky said. “Take me home.”


	4. Four.

The big board in the office read Thursday at the top. Monday had been the first day Bucky had woken up in the guest bedroom, he’d sent himself there after he’d gotten home. Darcy had already been asleep, curled up in their bed with her arms stretched out to where he should have been laying. Bucky hadn’t been able to bring himself to slide in beside her though, the etiquette of the 40’s stopping him.

Darcy had not been waiting for him when he woke, the house was empty, and it remained that way until dinner time that night. The girls had run in first, excited to see him. Freya spoke at length about her day at school, excited to share every waking moment of her day with her father. Maggie had curled up on his lap, tucking her head under his chin and falling asleep to the rhythm of Bucky’s breathing. Darcy hadn’t said a word to him, making them all dinner before going and locking herself in the bathroom. Bucky had fed the girls, memories of a small house filled with children coming back to him from his own childhood. Darcy emerged to get them ready for bed and she was in her room with the light off by 7:30.

So now Bucky woke again, in the guest room, prepared for another day alone. He’d made his way through the empty house, stopping to study the photos on the wall closer this time. This was how he had found the office and in turn the whiteboard. He studied it closely.

Darcy – work

The Girls – preschool

A note at the bottom of the board caught his eye.  
‘Freya has swimming lessons this afternoon. You promised you would come, please don’t let your daughter down. Your car keys are hanging on the hook’  

There was an address and a time written on the bottom. Bucky sighed; he was hurting them. He would continue hurting them until he got his memories back. Or until he decided to work harder at having a family, a voice in his head that sounded remarkably like Tony Stark said.

He had hours to kill before he needed to leave his house to make it to swimming lessons. The board told him that they were having pasta for dinner, a meal that he had been taught how to cook as a child. He figured he should kill some time, setting to work making the pasta and sauce from scratch.

He left it cooked on the stove and cleaned the mess he had made. Two hours remained before he had to leave, he decided to go for a run. Using the exercise to clear his head, he realized how badly his body needed the work out. He pulled his phone from his pocket, calling Steve who answered on the first ring.

“Hey,’ Steve said. “How are things going?”

“They aren’t.’ Bucky said. “We haven’t spoken, and she’s been locking herself in her room.”

“Her room?” Steve asked and Bucky nodded even though he knew the man could not see him.

“I’ve moved to the spare room. I don’t want to overwhelm her.” Bucky said.

“She’s your wife Bucky.’ Steve sighed. “You may not remember that, but she hasn’t forgotten. Her love for you is the same as it’s always been, she’s probably hurting.”

“I know.” Bucky groaned. “Has it always been this hard? For me and Darcy I mean.”

Steve laughed. “Ask her about how you met, that should explain what you’re working with.”

Bucky hung up soon after and quickly showered. He pulled his hair back into a low bun at the back of his head, it clearly was his preferred way of wearing it these days if the photos on the walls were anything to go by. The keys were on the hook where she said they would be, and he was pleased to see a large 4WD in the garage. The vehicle was sleek and modern, but it was comforting to Bucky to see the two car seats in the backseat.

He programmed the address into the GPS, happy to see somethings were second nature. Technology he had not used seven years ago were now learned behaviours even though he could not remember using it before.

He arrived at the small swim centre five minutes before Freya was due to start. He could see Darcy’s BMW sedan on the opposite side of the carpark. The smell of chlorine hit him as soon as he entered, and the room was filled with the loud laughter and splashing of the children in the pool.

“Mr. Barnes,’ the girl at the front desk said with a smile as she looked up. She was not at all familiar to Bucky, but he nodded and smiled, walking through the gate and scanning the busy room for Darcy. He found her quickly, his eyes taking in the scene before she realised he was there. She was pulling Freya’s hair into tight braids, making sure the long chestnut curls were not going to impede her swimming lesson. Maggie sat next to Darcy, busying herself with a container of chopped up fruit. Bucky watched as Darcy’s small hands made quick work of Freya’s hair and the way she gnawed on her bottom lip while she did it.

“Daddy!” Freya yelled as she noticed him. Darcy’s eyes raised slowly to him and she dropped her lip from between her teeth. Her lips spread into a small smile and Bucky felt himself wink before he could stop it. He met Freya halfway, picking her small body up from the floor and hugging her tightly. “I’m so excited you’re here, I’m going to do my best swimming today.”

“I’m sure you will be fantastic.” Bucky said as they walked back towards Darcy and Maggie. He set Freya on the ground, and lifted Maggie from her seat. He settled the small girl in his lap as he took a seat next to Darcy. His arm rose out of instinct to wrap around the shoulder of his wife, she didn’t seem to mind as she settled back further in the seat.

“I didn’t think you would come.” She whispered out of the corner of her mouth. “I was prepared for the third melt down of the week.”

“I hadn’t seen the board before.” Bucky said. “I didn’t know I was missing things; you should have told me.”

Her hands shook and Bucky moved his hand from around her shoulders, wrapping one of his hands around her much smaller ones. She looked up at him, her eyes filled with tears again.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.” Darcy said quietly. “I don’t know how to talk to you when you keep looking at me like you don’t know me.”

They waved at Freya as she called to them from the pool. Maggie opened and closed her chubby hand in what she called a wave. She then went back to shoveling fruit in her mouth.

“I’m sorry,’ Bucky sighed. “I haven’t been trying hard enough and I will make it up to you. You don’t deserve this, you or the girls. I’m sorry.”

“Daddy’ Maggie said holding the last blueberry to Bucky’s lips. “Blue.”

Bucky opened his mouth, letting her place the fruit inside. He grinned at her, laughing at her as she beamed her cheeky smile back at him.

“When are their birthdays?” Bucky asked and Darcy took a deep breath again. He knew this was hard for her, he wasn’t lying when he said he didn’t deserve them.

“Freya was born on December 12th, she’ll be 5 this year. Maggie was born on June 8th and she turned 2 this year.” Bucky nodded before his brow furrowed, trying to work something out that he couldn’t quite remember. “June 8th is your mother’s birthday.”

Bucky nodded, the memory of strawberry shortcake and candlelight coming back to him suddenly. “The girls names, how did we pick them?”

“Freya was named after a goddess from Asgard, where Thor is from.’ Darcy said. “She was blessed by Thor when she was born and it seemed fitting, plus we were so sure she was going to be a boy we only had boys’ names picked. You wanted to name Maggie, Margaret after- ‘

“Margaret Carter.” Bucky said with a sigh. “We did that for Steve right?”

Darcy nodded. “I wasn’t about to call her Margaret or Peggy, but we settled happily on Maggie. You were in Istanbul on a mission when I had her, Sharon Carter stayed at the hospital with me. We had already decided on the name but that was fate.”

Bucky fell silent as he watched Freya’s tiny body paddle through the pool. She smiled happily at her father as she completed the lap, her swimming goggles pushing her face together. Maggie cheered excitedly as Freya came into her line of sight.

“Look, Ya swim,’ Maggie called repeatedly. Darcy nodded, handing her a packet of crackers and the girl immediately fell silent.

“She calls her Ya; she can’t say Freya.” Darcy said and Bucky smiled down at his youngest child. He bounced her on his knee, pleased to hear her giggle in response. He wondered if it was instinct, keeping them amused the way he had been. He wondered if he would be as good at making them happy if they were sad or comforting them if they were scared.

“Was I scared?” Bucky whispered and Darcy turned to face him, her brown eyes staring intensely into his blue ones. “When you told me you were pregnant, was I scared?”

“Not at all.’ Darcy said. “I was horrified, and you were the same as you have always been. Prepared and ready, then Freya was born, and you were a complete natural from the first time you held her.”

Bucky frowned, trying to remember the feeling of a newborn baby in his arms but not being able to conjure the image. It pleased him to know he hadn’t been a making a mess of it for the last few years of his children’s lives. He prayed the memories would come back to him though, desperate to remember what those moments had felt like.

“Are we done having them?” Bucky asked as the panic set in. What if he never got those memories back, what if he never got a chance to make them again. Darcy’s brow furrowed this time, now she was confused. “Before this happened, had we spoken about us having more kids? Was that an option?”

“You would have an army of them if I let you. If I didn’t know you better, I’d assume you were trying to create some sort of super solider army out of your children.” Darcy chuckled before sighing. “That was a poor joke, I’m sorry. Before this, we’d talked about it and I put a limit on two more. I don’t want to have to drive a mini van.”

Bucky nodded, that was progress. If he could stick this out and make it work, he could have this chance again. He could make more of these memories in case he couldn’t bring these ones back. Freya was clambering out of the pool, her body dripping wet as she raced towards them. 

“Don’t run Freya, it’s wet Solnyshko’ Bucky said, the Russian slipping from his lips like second nature. Darcy’s head snapped to look at him. This was either something he had never done before or something he did often. Freya was not confused by the second language, clearly it was a common occurrence. He smiled sheepishly at his wife, hoping she understood that he didn’t mean to do it. Somewhere inside of him, he just knew.

“Daddy, did you see me swimming?” Freya babbled as Darcy dried her and began to get her dressed. Bucky strapped a wriggling Maggie into her stroller, he was pleased she seemed to calm when he frowned at her. Apparently, he really wasn’t so bad at this whole parenting thing, “Do you think I could go to the Alympics?”

“It’s O-lympics Frey.’ Darcy said with a snort. “But if you wanted to be an Olympic swimmer you can. You can do anything you want to do as long as you work hard.”

“I don’t really want to work hard,’ Freya said as they made their way to the carpark. “I just want to do my coloring in and play with my dolls.”

Darcy bit her lip to keep from laughing and Bucky looked off into the distance, certain that if he looked at his little girl, he would lose it. Bucky walked them to Darcy’s car, opting to put Maggie in because he was certain he did not know how to fold up the fancy stroller he had been pushing to get in the vehicle. Freya hung about at the back end of the car, adamant she was driving home with her Dad. “You sure you want to take her?” Darcy asked as she slid into the front seat. Bucky had Freya’s hand wrapped tightly in his own. He smiled down at his wife, reaching out with this metal hand to brush a finger over her cheek. The corner of her lip lifted, a hint of a smile there.

“I’ve got her doll.’ He said with a nod. “We’ll see you guys at home.”

“Home.” Darcy nodded. “I love you.”

It was a slip, something she was so used to saying in this moment. Bucky smiled back at her as her cheeks flushed.

“I know’ he said. “Drive safe.”


	5. Five.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a really long chapter to get through that I won’t be able to post for a week or so!! Hope you enjoy

“He’s an asshole.” Darcy said as Bucky entered the house through the garage door. It was Saturday and he’d just opted to go grocery shopping for Darcy. Against her warnings he’d chosen to take Freya with him, he was positive at least 80% of the shopping bags were now filled with extra purchases she had thrown in the cart. Bucky had tried to say no but each time Freya had looked up at him with big brown eyes, exactly like her mothers and he felt himself nodding.

Darcy hadn’t told him they would be having guests over but as he rounded the corner into the living area, he was surprised to see Nat sitting on his lounge with a woman he had learned was Darcy’s ex-boss and best friend Jane, the other woman was unknown to him but her watchful gaze told him that she knew him well.

Bucky placed the bags he’d carried on the bench. Freya was busy telling her mother about the ridiculous gifts she’d been bought. He looked over his shoulder when he felt eyes on him, not surprised to see Darcy staring at him with an eyebrow cocked. 

“You got something to say Mr Barnes?” Darcy said with a smirk. Bucky smiled sheepishly; she had been right. Taking Freya was a mistake, he refused to admit it though. “You are going to turn our daughters into spoilt brats.”

Bucky shrugged; he hadn’t had money as a child. If he was able to provide things for his daughters that he couldn’t have, why wouldn’t he. “Who is an asshole?”

Nat’s face flushed and Bucky raised an eyebrow, a smirk pulling at his lips.

Steve.

Sam had kindly filled Bucky in on what had become a tumultuous back and forth relationship between his best friend and the Black Widow. He was pleased to know Steve had already been aware of his own past with Natalya, grateful to not have to break that news to him now that they had already been together. Nat and Steve were in love, Sam had told him but each time one was ready to commit, the other was nowhere to be found.

“What’s the punk done now?” Bucky said and Nat sniffed, shifting uncomfortably in her chair.

“Nat is upset because Steve has booked them a holiday without asking her first.” The stranger said to Bucky and he frowned, it was good to see women were still confusing beyond belief. “I’m Wanda by the way.”

Bucky nodded; he’d been filled in on the airport fight already. He’d known Wanda by name, she created glowing red orbs with her hands. He also knew that she had been experimented on by Hydra, they were kindred spirits in a way.

“This makes him an asshole?” Bucky said, glancing at his own wife for clarification. She took a sip of her wine, shrugging her shoulder in response. “So, I shouldn’t book us any weekends away?”

“No, Nat just scares me, so I usually tell her what she wants to hear.’ Darcy chuckled. “Also I’ve been trying to get you to go on a holiday to a place that isn’t Disneyland for five years now and it’s like pulling teeth.”

Bucky folded his arms across his chest, not failing to notice how Darcy’s eyes trailed over his biceps. “We’ll have to change that then won’t we doll?”

Darcy nodded, a grin coming to her lips. Maggie cried, the sounds of her waking up coming through the baby monitor on the coffee table. Darcy went to stand, Bucky placing his hand on her shoulder and forcing her to sit back down. “I’ve got them, stay and enjoy your time with your friends.”

Bucky busied himself with his daughters, entertaining them with the seemingly endless supply of toys they had in their rooms. Darcy may have had a point when she said he spoiled them. He emerged, only to feed them dinner and even managed to bathe and get them both into bed singlehandedly.

He was rounding the corner from the hallway, the conversation in the living room stopping him.

“You know if its too much you can always call a time out?” That was Jane, Bucky knew because her voice was foreign to him. He hadn’t heard her speak before, now he kind of wished it had remained that way. His hands clenched into fists, eager to hear Darcy’s response.

“Not a chance.” Darcy said with conviction. “Would you leave Thor if he woke up tomorrow and didn’t know who you were? He hasn’t done this to hurt me, I made a vow to stick by him for better or worse. This might be the worst time we’ve ever had but I know he’s still in there.”

“How can you be sure though?” Jane said and Bucky wondered if he could invoke a ban. He figured Darcy wouldn’t go for it, she was awfully fond of the tiny scientist. According to Steve, Bucky usually was as well. The woman was the godmother to his children.

“Because he still lets Freya paint his fingernails and rocks Maggie to sleep every single night.” Darcy sighed sadly. “He loves them, and I know that’s because deep down he remembers them. If he can love them, I have no doubt that he can love me too. He loved me before Jane, that doesn’t just go away.”

“You don’t need to convince us Darcy,’ Wanda said comfortingly. Bucky decided she wasn’t banned. “We’ve been here for the last seven years; we know what you have.”

Bucky decided now was a time to make himself known, he cleared his throat as he rounded the corner. He wasn’t surprised to see multiple empty wine bottles on the coffee table, apparently Saturday night ladies night was a regular occurrence. Freya had filled him in. Nat lifted her eyebrow at him, he should have known he couldn’t remain hidden from her. She had probably heard the beat of his heart, she always had been too well trained.

“You ladies about ready to leave?” He asked, hoping he didn’t come across as rude. Darcy looked exhausted and her eyes looked sad, he wanted to fix this. He needed to fix this. The women nodded at him, standing and gathering their things. Bucky fetched his car keys from the kitchen bench, watching as Darcy fare welled them all. Jane hugged her for slightly longer, whispering something into his wife’s ear.

“I’ll be back.” Bucky said as he walked past Darcy, he leaned in at the last moment pressing a kiss to her forehead. He took a deep breath in, the smell of her shampoo invading his nostrils and calming him. He drove the women home, dropping Nat and Wanda to Steve’s house which he had been surprised to learn was only a street away. His friend was not home, off with Sam in Bolivia completing some tactical mission or another.

“I love her you know.” Bucky said and Jane’s jaw clenched. She didn’t turn to meet his gaze, simply looking out the window at the houses that passed them. “I know deep down somewhere that I love her with my entire being. I can’t remember her but I know that I need her.”

“You’re hurting her.” Jane said harshly, her tone cutting through Bucky like nails on a chalk board. “You’ve been hurting her from the beginning.”

Bucky mulled that over, wondering how to broach the conversation. Jane didn’t wait for him to ask, simply releasing her attack in waves.

“You waltzed in from Wakanda and snapped her up, made her think she needed you to survive. Then when you decided you couldn’t handle being in a relationship you disappeared, dropping off the face of the planet until she moved on. Darcy was happy with me, happy working in London and happy with Alexander, then you were knocking on our front door and begging her to come home. Gave her some shitty sob story about how you couldn’t survive in this century without her.”

Bucky pulled up in front of Janes house, not surprised to see Thor waiting on the front porch for her. Jane wasn’t finished though, her eyes shone with angry tears as she thought about what to say next.

“She is always going to say yes to you Bucky, she said yes to marrying you, yes to having a family before she was ready and yes to sitting at home waiting for you while you run off and fight wars that aren’t yours to fight. She isn’t ever going to say no to you even if it’s what is best for her and the girls, I hope you realize what you’re doing to her.”

Bucky’s fingers tightened around the steering wheel and he took a deep breath. It was hard to defend himself when he didn’t have any memory of what he’d done, no idea how the decisions he made in the past had hurt his wife. Jane slid from the vehicle and Bucky found his voice right before the door slammed shut. “She know you hate me like this?”

“I don’t hate you Bucky, I just want to make sure you never forget what you’ve got.” Jane sighed. “I want to make you realize that if it came down to it and this all got too much, you would have to be the one to walk away  because if it meant your life or hers, Darcy would give hers for you. Always.”

Jane slammed the door and Bucky waited until she reached the porch, Thor nodded to him once. Bucky started the car, the conversation playing over and over in his mind as he drove as he followed the path to his home. Darcy was sitting on the lounge when he arrived, the evidence of her night cleaned up. She glanced up at him, a frown marring her beautiful features as she took him in. The television was muted and she sighed.

“I should have told you to drive Jane home first.” Bucky dropped down on to the lounge next to Darcy. He shrugged, closing his eyes as he laid his head back against the back of the lounge.

“That wouldn’t have been a feasible route to take.” Bucky said and Darcy laughed softly. “She cares about you.”

“She’s out of line.” Darcy started and Bucky held up his hand to stop her.

“Makes me happy knowing that no matter what you will always have her in your corner.” Bucky knew what that was like, it comforted him to no one knowing that Jane was to Darcy what Steve was to him. “She also said some things that I need to clarify with you however, I feel like we’ve probably had these arguments before. I need you to promise me that if something ever happened and you had to pick between saving me and saving yourself that there is no question.”

“I know that.” Darcy said and Bucky released the tension he’d been holding in his shoulders. “It’s you every time, no questions.”

“Doll, no’ he said sadly. “The girls need you.”

“They need a father too you know,’ Darcy said with a shrug. “We never reach a conclusion in this argument, last time I threw a peach at you.”

He opened an eye, looking at her as a cheeky grin spread across her face. “Did it hit me?”

“Course not, you’ve got ridiculously good reflexes.” As if to prove a point she kicked her foot at him, he caught it and pulled it into his lap, the other quickly following. “What else did she say to you?”

“Lots of stuff actually, told me I stole you away from another man. That true?”

Darcy laughed again. “Not really, she’s so dramatic. I’d been dating Alex for a month when you showed up looking like you hadn’t showered in the few months we’d been apart. It was barely a relationship; Jane gets upset about London because I left her there and came back to New York with you.”

“Why were you in London?” Bucky asked as Darcy fidgeted on the couch, lowering herself into the cushions further.

“Literally or metaphorically?” She asked, continuing before Bucky could answer. “Literally, I was calling myself a Lab Assistant and getting paid a very small wage to fetch coffees for Jane while she was working towards scientific greatness. Metaphorically, I was telling myself that you didn’t matter, and I could be happy without you.”

Bucky didn’t know where to start, so he took the easy way out. “Are you a scientist?”

Darcy snorted. “I work for Pepper Potts, or Stark now, I guess. She’s Tony’s wife, when I got pregnant, she gave me a job at Stark Industries. That way I’ve got regular hours and when you’re out of town I’m locked safely away at Stark Tower, so you know I’m safe. The girl’s preschool is next door, also something I’m positive Tony formulated but I haven’t been able to prove yet.”

“You enjoy working there?” Bucky said. “Whatever it is that you do, that’s what you’re wanting to do with your life?”

“Regardless of what Jane might have said, not all women aspire to be an award-winning scientist or CEO of the biggest tech company in the world or a superhero. I love being able to work a few hours a week to contribute to our family and be home enough to love our girls and love you.” Darcy dug her foot into the muscular part of his thigh, not giving up until he looked in her direction. “You’re the reason I get up every morning.”

“Darce’ Bucky sighed. “I’m trying to get be the man you deserve. I want to be that guy again.”

Darcy moved closer to him, resting her head on his shoulder. “We will get there, we always do. We make a pretty good team you and I.”


	6. Six.

Dr Stephen Strange was not like anyone that Bucky Barnes had ever known. He was kind, soft spoken in a way men from Bucky’s time had never been. The second he’d entered the Barnes family home a strange sense of calm had overtaken it. Calm was a feeling Bucky had found generally only came in the late hours, when he and Darcy sat side by side on the lounge and talked in hushed whispers.

Bucky had found love for his daughters came easily; it was hard not to adore children. Especially when they looked the way his did and loved him so completely. He was slowly taking over parenting tasks from Darcy, he’d picked the girls up from school twice last week and he’d taken Freya to ballet, although the one trip to the ballet studio would probably be his last. The old lady who taught Freya reminded Bucky of his old next door neighbour, she was intimidating and Bucky could almost feel the whip of her walking stick around his ankles the way his neighbour used to. It hadn’t surprised Bucky at all when Darcy told him the Russian Ballet school had been recommended by Nat.

He hadn’t done any of the disciplinary work, not yet sure he knew how to step in and take over that role yet. Darcy told him he didn’t normally have any problem and his daughters, luckily were incredibly well behaved as a rule so it didn’t happen often. There had only been two incidents in the last week but as Freya’s eyes welled up with tears as Darcy disciplined her Bucky knew he wasn’t ready to be the bad cop just yet.

Darcy was a harder subject, he was trying. He really was trying to bring back the memories from before. They’d fallen into a habit of talking before they went to their separate bedrooms at night. Bucky asked her everything he could think of from her mothers name to her favourite colour. He was waiting for her to say the thing he needed, the one fact that would unravel all the mess in his mind and bring it all back for him.

“How did we meet?” He’d asked her the other night. She glanced up from the tiny pink netting she was sewing sequins onto. She’d told him it was a tutu when he’d asked, for Freya to wear when she danced.

“I went to a Christmas party at Steve’s place and you spilt a drink on me.” Darcy said. Bucky frowned, that didn’t really sound like something he would have done. He’d never been clumsy, if that had been a story about Steve, he would have believed it no questions asked. Darcy chuckled at his face and continued her story. “You were adamant that I knocked into you and should have been watching where I was going but I know you spilt it on me.”

That made more sense, just twice that evening Darcy had tripped over her own feet. “Doll, there is no way I spilt my drink on you.”

“You were so rude, told me to get out of your way and then you went into your tiny little room at the back of Steve’s old apartment and locked the door. It made me so mad because I’d spent a whole paycheque on my dress and so I asked around to find out who you were and on Monday I sent a bill for the dress to your desk at the Avengers compound.”

“Did I pay it?” Bucky said with a laugh. Darcy shook her head, telling him how he’d shown up in the labs ranting and raving about her having the audacity to ask him for money for her mistake. Darcy said he’d caused a scene, Steve and Sam had appeared just in case they needed to drag him away.

“Your face was bright red and you just kept yelling and screaming about dames in your time and so I told you that you didn’t have to pay for the dress.” Darcy looked up at him from under her lashes. Bucky was enthralled, latched onto her every word. “I said we’d been even if you took me out for dinner sometime. Your face stayed red for a while and then you just said yes and walked away. It was two weeks before I heard from you again.”

That was three nights ago, the next night Steve had knocked on his front door. Tony had a friend he was going to send by, a doctor turned superhero who might be able to help. That was how they were in the current situation, Darcy fussing around making a cheese platter and Bucky fidgeting nervously under the Doctor’s gaze. 

“Daddy,” Freya whispered, her hands wrapping tightly around Bucky’s neck. “Who is this man?” 

“He’s one of Mr Stark’s friends.’ Bucky said. “How about you run along and play with Maggie and Uncle Steve in the sandbox?” 

Freya nodded, racing towards the backyard, stopping to receive a popsicle from her mother. 

“Your children are sweet.” Stephen said as Darcy sat down. “I’ve heard many good things about them from your friends.” 

“Thank you,’ Darcy said. Her eyes shone brightly, compliments about the girls clearly made her proud. “We’ve never met you before, Tony said you’re a doctor?”

He nodded, “I was a neurosurgeon until I had an accident. Not much use for a guy who can’t sew a stitch. Fortunately I still remember everything they taught me, Tony showed me your scans Mr Barnes.” 

Bucky held his breath and waited for him to continue. “I don’t think this is a medical problem, not really. I think this might be some form of post traumatic stress, an outcome of years of torture on your brain.” 

“So what do I do?” Bucky said, the panic rising in his chest. Darcy’s hand slipped into his, her thumb running across the back of his. He focused on the feel of her, stopping himself from slipping further into the panic attack. 

“I fully believe that at some point the memories will come back, they may flood back all at once or they may slowly come back in dribs and drabs.’ He took a sip of the tea Darcy had handed him earlier. “My suggestion is to put yourself back into situations you’ve been in during the last seven years; go on your first date again, have a fight about taking the trash out, take your daughters to Disneyland. At some point something will trigger your memories and this will right itself.” 

“And if it doesn’t?” Darcy said, her bottom lip torn to pieces from her anxious biting. 

“You’ve got a lifetime to make new memories.” He said sagely, as if that made everything ok. He didn’t stick around long, drinking his tea and standing suddenly. “Thank you for allowing me into your home.” 

Bucky walked him to the front door, folding his arms across his chest. “Stark told me you can tell the future, you see this working out doc?” 

“What Tony Stark says I can do is a confused interpretation of what I actually do.” Stephen said, he smiled at Bucky. “There are a number of outcomes I can see for your future Mr Barnes, the one you work for is the one you shall receive.” 

He left then, creating a swirling orb in Bucky’s doorway and walking through it. Bucky wondered why he’d bothered going to the front door to leave anyway. He sighed, resting his head against the timber of the front door. It seemed nothing in his life had gone his way since he’d been conscripted to the 107th all those years ago. 

“Guess you better knock me up then Sarge.” Darcy said and Bucky glanced at her over his shoulder. He rose an eyebrow and she laughed. “You gotta find moments so strong that it makes all the memories flood back, I’m positive nothing could be as strong as watching me give birth for a third time babe.” 

“I’m hoping this is sorted in less than nine months but thanks for the offer Darce.” Bucky snorted as he followed her back through the house. They learnt against the back door, watching as their daughters buried Steve in the sandbox. “He’s a weird guy, Dr Strange.” 

Darcy nodded, calling out to Steve to stop the handful of sand that was making it’s way to Maggie’s mouth. “He was kind of hot though, I think it was the cape.”

Darcy walked away, leaving Bucky feeling shocked as the sound of her laughter filled his ears.


	7. Seven.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, 
> 
> Thank you again for all the love for the last chapter. Means so much to have so many of you respond 
> 
> Just realised I never posted a translation for the nickname Bucky uses for Freya. He also uses a nickname for Maggie in this chapter 
> 
> Solnyshko (roughly) translates to small sun  
> And  
> Malyutka means babe
> 
> Hope you like this, we’re getting into some more action in the next few chapters. 
> 
> Let me know what you think/ any ideas where you think the story might be going.

Bucky rolled over in the bed again, punching the pillow down to try and form the shape he wanted it to. It had been a month, a month of not knowing who he was, a month of sleeping in the guest bedroom on a mattress he could tell they’d bought on the cheap. His body ached for the mattress down the hall, the good memory foam latex that he sometimes napped on during the day. 

Steve had told him to just bite the bullet, that Darcy wasn’t going to kick him out of their bed if he attempted to enter the room. He knew Steve was right, he unfortunately usually was. It was too nerve wracking to take that step down the hall, but Bucky knew if Darcy asked him he’d follow her back into their bedroom. 

Maggie cried out, waking up as she had been for the last week. Bucky sighed, he knew he wasn’t going to get any sleep tonight so he may as well let Darcy stay in bed. He made his way to Maggie’s room, picking her up from the small bed she slept in and resting her against his chest as he sat in the rocking chair. She whimpered against his neck, as he rubbed her back. 

As Maggie’s breathing evened out, Bucky felt his eyes close slowly falling asleep as his daughter did. He startled awake as Maggie was lifted from his chest, Darcy smiling down at him as she transferred their daughter from his chest to her bed. 

“You’ll get a sore neck sleeping in that chair.” Darcy said. “I don’t want to have to listen to the complaints for three weeks like last time.” 

Bucky stood, stretching out the kinks in his back. “I’ve already got a sore back from that bed, I think the chair might actually be a step up.” 

Darcy led them from the room, Bucky’s eyes trailing over her pale skin in the short satin pyjamas she wore. Her hair was pulled up into a pony tail, showing the silky skin of her neck which was something Bucky had found he loved to stare at. 

“You’re a glutton for punishment clearly.” Darcy said as she stopped at the guest bedroom. “There’s no reason for you to be sleeping in here.” 

He sighed. “I don’t want to push you.” 

“Funnily enough James I’ve haven’t been sleeping too well without you either, now shut up and come sleep in our bed.’ Darcy said as she took his hand and dragged him down the hall. “We’ve got a good three hours before your daughters decide it’s time to wake up.”

“My daughters?” He asked with a grin as he slid into the bed next to her. His body immediately welcomed the soft mattress and the way the scent of Darcy enveloped his senses. 

Darcy nodded, her eyes closing as she tucked herself in closer to him. She tangled her legs with his and Bucky did his best not to pull away from her cold feet. “When they keep waking up before the sun comes out their your responsibility. Your daughters.” 

Bucky slept easily, waking a few hours later when he felt a small hand patting his cheek. He opened one eye, seeing Darcy’s head on his chest and her arms wrapped tightly around his midsection. He turned his head further to the side, Freya standing there with a grin on her face. 

“Hi Daddy.” She whispered, leaning her elbows on the side of the bed. “I didn’t know where you were but you were back in your bed.” 

Bucky smiled as Freya hopped around excitedly in her pink Disney pyjamas. He put a finger to his lips as Darcy shifted around on his chest. 

“You want breakfast Solnyshko?” Freya nodded and ran from the room. He shifted his body, trying to slide out of the bed without waking Darcy. She mumbled as he laid her down on the mattress, waking slightly. “Go back to sleep doll, I’m just going to make Freya breakfast.” 

She said something that sounded like I love you and Bucky smiled. He ran his finger over her lips, before leaving the room. Maggie was babbling in her cot as he walked past, smiling at him he as he turned into her room. 

“You’ve got to start sleeping at night Malyutka” Bucky said and she nodded in response, as if she understood a word he was saying to her. He placed her in her high chair, grabbing some the fruit Darcy kept cut up in the fridge to keep Maggie happy while he made breakfast. 

“Daddy,’ Freya said as she sat at the table. “Can we go to Disneyland for my birthday?” 

Bucky remained silent for a minute, focusing on the crepes he was making. He was hesitant to say yes, he’d learned in only a month that Freya didn’t forget anything and he couldn’t promise that he’d be here in December. He felt unstable, even trying to fit himself into this routine he had previously created. On the other hand, he’d been told that the only way he was going to get better was to experience things the past Bucky had experienced. If the photos on the walls were anything to go by then the Barnes family had been to Disneyland more times than he’d bare to count. 

“We’ll see Frey, you’ll have to be a very good girl between now and then.” Bucky said, looking at her over his shoulder. “That means no more snatching from your sister.” 

“But Dad, she doesn’t even play with the toys she just eats them all.” Freya said, as if this made it ok. 

“She’s teething babe.” Darcy’s voice said as she entered the room. She pressed a kiss to both girls heads as she passed them, running her hand over Bucky’s shoulders as she opened the fridge. She pulled the juice out, pouring everyone a glass. Her hands brushed Bucky’s as she passed him his juice, a playful glint in her eyes as Bucky shivered slightly. 

Bucky watched her leave the kitchen, sitting down and listening to Maggie babble happily as she shoved partially chewed apple pieces into her mouth. He was serving up a crepe for Freya as the idea came to his mind. 

“Hey Darce,’ He said, continuing as she hummed in response. “You want to go out for dinner tonight, just the two of us?” 

Darcy cocked her eyebrow, her lips spreading into a wide grin. “Are you asking me on a date Mr Barnes?” 

“It would seem that I am doll.” He said, running his fingers over the side of her neck as he placed a plate in front of her. He took his seat next to Freya, helping her load fruit onto the crepe she was eating. 

“Daddy, can I come on the date?” Freya asked and Bucky faltered before shaking his head. Her bottom lip pouted and Bucky nearly changed his mind. 

“No Frey,’ Darcy said. “But Daddy will call Uncle Steve and Miss Nat and see if they can come and look after you for the night, how does that sound?” 

Freya didn’t respond, frowning at her plate before sighing. “I guess that would be ok but I want ice cream for dinner as well.” 

Darcy met Bucky’s eyes and bit her bottom lip to keep from laughing. Bucky shrugged, not completely unimpressed with the negotiation tactics of his four year old. 

“Why don’t you let Uncle Steve decide that one?” Bucky said and Freya nodded.


	8. Eight.

“And you’ve got both our phone numbers?” Darcy said. Steve and Nat had been unable to babysit but they had promised Bucky they would find them a sitter they could trust. Bucky had opened the door twenty minutes ago to a kid who had introduced himself as Peter Parker. Apparently they’d met at Tony Stark’s house, neither Bucky or Darcy for that matter could remember it. 

Bucky had excused himself, ducking into his bedroom to quickly call Tony. The other man had endorsed Peter Parker wholeheartedly, apparently there was no better kid anywhere. Tony and Pepper regularly had him babysit Morgan, he assured Bucky he’d be fine babysitting two kids. 

Darcy was having a harder time leaving the girls with a stranger. Peter smiled softly but allowed her to have the freak out she was having. Bucky sat on the lounge, bouncing Maggie on his leg as Darcy showed Peter the first aid cabinet again. 

“Doll,’ Bucky called as Darcy began running through the emergency contact list again. “I think the kid gets it, you understand that you can’t reach us you call Steve first and if you can’t get Steve you call Sam right?”

“Yes sir,’ Peter stammered, somewhat awkwardly. “I’ve got everyone on speed dial anyway. Not that I think there will be any issues but I am equipped to keep them safe Mrs Barnes. You can go and enjoy your night.” 

Bucky stood from the lounge walking towards the door. He rolled his eyes at his wife and she sighed, kissing Freya on the head. Bucky passed Maggie to Peter, smirking as she slapped her chubby hand onto his cheek. “You call us if you need us, for anything. We’ll be home by midnight.” 

“No worries, enjoy your night.” Peter said and Bucky turned, leading Darcy out the door and to the car. She walked in front of him, allowing Bucky to appreciate the way the soft green sweater she was wearing moulded to her curves and the tight jeans she was wearing. She was silent on the drive, the sound of the radio filling the car. 

“They will be fine.” Bucky said and she nodded apprehensively. “Seriously, he’s a good kid and from what Stark just told me a bloody good superhero. Probably safer leaving the girls with him than with me doll.” 

Darcy sniffed, “I hate when you say stuff like that. We’ve never been in danger with you. I’ve never felt safer than I feel with you.” 

Bucky didn’t know how to respond to that. He simply focused on the road, following the directions Darcy had programmed into the gps. 

“I’m being serious you know.” She said quietly, her eyes staring intensely into the side of his face. “We’ve been together seven years and not once have I been put in danger.” 

“Guess it’s just hard for me to understand because constantly being in danger is the last thing I remember. It’s weird to think that feeling ever went away for me.” Bucky said, his brows furrowing as he thought about it. 

“You’ll get it back Bucky.” Darcy said confidently. “Hydra has no purpose with you now, you’re not a risk to anyone anymore. We will be fine.” 

Bucky liked that she made out his problems were her problems as well. He supposed marriage made them a team, it just pleased him to see they really worked that way. 

“Are we at Coney Island?” Bucky said with a grin as he pulled into the parking lot. Darcy nodded, jumping from the car and racing around the drivers side. Bucky slid out, happily holding her hand as she dragged them to the entrance. 

“You brought me here on our first date, mentioned how you used to bring girls here back in the 40’s.” Darcy said. “It didn’t help that it was winter and about two degrees and snowing but we walked around for a while until I felt like I had frost bite on my nose.” 

“That doesn’t sound like a very good first date.” Bucky said, scrunching up his nose. “You accepted a second date after that one?” 

Darcy laughed. “I didn’t have a choice, you spent $40 winning me a stuffed T-Rex and then the next three hours of the date complaining about inflation rates. I was in love with you by the end of the night.” 

“You’re a strange girl.” Bucky said shaking his head and leading Darcy towards the ring toss. “I’m glad you stuck around, I’m sure I wasn’t easy to deal with back then.” 

Darcy shrugged, watching as he handed the game operator a five dollar note. He was throwing with his cybernetic arm, he was glad Steve wasn’t there, he would definitely consider that cheating. 

“You weren’t too bad, only time we ever had a problem was when you ran off to Wakanda again and would only speak to Steve.” Bucky glanced towards her, swearing when the ring missed the cans. He handed the attendant another five dollar note. “We’d been together almost a year and you freaked out, didn’t help that Hydra had been making a whole bunch of noise. You didn’t even say goodbye, I called Steve when I couldn’t reach you and he had to tell me.”

Bucky felt ashamed, guilt running through his veins. He focused on the game, winning a stuffed bear and handing the guy more money. He had two daughters, he couldn’t go home with one stuffed animal.

“Why’d you take me back?” Bucky said. “After I did that to you, why did you take me back in London?”

“Because you’re ridiculously hot.” Darcy said and Bucky rolled his eyes. 

“Doll.” He said and she sighed. 

“I loved you.” She said. “From the second you stormed into the lab I knew I wanted to be around you, not because you’re ridiculously hot although that has always helped. But because you’re the best man I’ve ever met since my Dad. Dating you for a year reaffirmed that, I knew I wanted to spend my whole life with you and I just had to wait for you to be ready.” 

“That’s real nice lady.” The game attendant said as he handed Bucky the stuffed T-Rex. “You got a nice girl there Sir.” 

“Don’t I know it,” Bucky said with a grin. The ring toss guy was now $50 richer and Bucky felt exhausted from the information he’d been given. 

“Ok let’s talk about something less heavy, this is our first date.” Darcy said as they strolled along, stopping to get some fairy floss. She pulled the cloud of pink sugar apart, placing it on her tongue and letting it dissolve. Bucky declined when she handed it to him, his lip curling in disgust. Darcy snorted, “you pulled the exact same face on our fists date.” 

“What’s your favourite holiday?” He asked her and she grinned. Bucky had done something right, first date conversation here he comes. 

“Before the girls St Patrick’s Day because it’s the one day you’re actively encouraged to get black out drunk but since the girls it’s a tie between Thanksgiving and Christmas, I never really appreciated either of those holidays as a kid.” 

“Why not?” Bucky said. Even as a poor kid from Brooklyn he’d loved Christmas. His mother had always found a way to get himself and his sisters gifts. He vaguely remembered a bright red bicycle and sharing turkey with Steve. 

“My Dad died when I was a kid and my Mom was a drinker.’ Darcy said. “As an only child it’s not very exciting celebrating Christmas when your mother is passed out on the floor under the tree and your presents aren’t wrapped.” 

Bucky nodded, wondering what to say next. Darcy wasn’t looking for sympathy though. 

“I definitely didn’t tell you all of that on our first date but when I finally did tell you I made you promise you wouldn’t be weird about it. I might have had a shitty family but I did a great job of making my own.’ Darcy said confidently and Bucky nodded, squeezing her hand in his own in response. “We’re pretty good at the whole parenting thing too, Christmas at our place is a dream.”

“Yeah?” Bucky said with a grin, wishing he could remember it but eager to recreate it. If you get to stay, a voice in the back of his mind said. 

“Yeah, you put ridiculous lights on our house and buy a tree that’s unnecessarily expensive. Last year we made a pact that we’d stop buying the girls so much, especially Freya because it’s so close to her birthday.” 

“I’m afraid I can’t remember making that pact doll.” Bucky said with a grin and Darcy snorted. 

“Convenient.” Darcy said, rolling her eyes. She wrapped her hand in his, lacing their fingers together. Bucky felt their rings clink and he lifted her hand to look at the ring on her finger. It was a small silver band, a large tear dropped shaped ruby sitting where a diamond usually would. 

“That doesn’t look like the sort of ring I would have chosen.” Bucky said, his brows pulling together. Darcy laughed, the sound washing over him. 

“You didn’t,’ she said. “I chose it and I gave it to you to give to me.” 

“You did what?” 

“Well we’d been together for two years and we’d decided we wanted to get married you just wouldn’t man up and ask me. I got sick of waiting so I went out and bought the ring and left it in your Tac Vest. You found it while you were out shooting aliens in Washington.” Darcy said with a shrug. 

“And did I come home and greet you on one knee?” He said with a cheeky grin. Darcy took a shaky breath. 

“No actually,’ she ran her hand through her hair. This memory obviously wasn’t a good one. “You got hurt, spent two weeks in a coma. I thought I’d lost you, and then of course you woke up and smiled at me like nothing had happened. Held the ring out and asked me if I’d lost something.” 

“Sounds like I’ve given you a lot of grief over the years.” Bucky said seriously. “I’m sorry for that Darcy.” 

“I knew what I was getting into when I said yes to that second date.” She said. “We’ve had more good days than bad days Bucky and I know you can’t remember them but I wouldn’t stick around if I didn’t know you were the only person in the world for me.” 

They had wandered slowly back to the car, Bucky looked around him at the Coney Island carpark. Even that had changed drastically since the last time he could remember being there. Darcy pressed herself against the hood of the car, pulling him to stand in front of her by his linen shirt. 

“You know there is one thing that happened on our first date that we haven’t tried replicating yet,” she said coyly. Bucky’s eyebrows raised, his arms coming up to rest against the bull-bar on the front of the car. 

“What’s that doll?” Bucky said, his voice dropping to a whisper. The flirtation was coming easily he found, clearly doing this with her was like second nature.

“Well to be fair last time it was at my front door so I’m not surprised you don’t remember it,” she dropped her left eye into a wink. “But you leaned in real slow, asked if it would be proper to kiss me on the first date.”

“And would it be?” Bucky asked, leaning closer to Darcy as he spoke. “Proper to kiss you on the first date, I mean?” 

“Why don’t you do it and find out.” Darcy said, her breath warm against his lips as she spoke. Bucky swooped in, his lip pressing to hers. Their teeth knocked as Darcy smiled into the kiss. Darcy pressed her hand to his cheek, scratching the stubble on his jaw. Bucky tangled his hands in her hair, tilting her head back to deepen the kiss. 

Darcy’s tongue traced his lip before she bit down on it softly. Bucky hummed appreciatively, resting his forehead on Darcy’s as he pulled away. 

“That spark any memories Barnes?” Darcy whispered. Bucky smiled sadly. 

“No, doll. It didn’t.” Darcy shrugged her shoulder, pulling Bucky back towards her. 

“Guess we’ll have to keep trying until something clicks.” She said before she pulled him back down for another kiss


	9. Nine.

“We like all these people?” Bucky said as he sat down next to Steve. They were at big long dining table in the Avengers compound, hundreds of dollars worth of Chinese food laid out before them. 

Darcy sat down the other end, laughing happily with Pepper, Jane and a woman that a guy named Clint had introduced as his wife. They were feeding the children; his two girls, Pepper and Tony’s daughter Morgan and Clint’s two boys and a girl whose names he didn’t know but who’s voices he could definitely hear.

Bucky didn’t really understand the point of this meeting, apparently they happened once a month without fail. Bucky wondered if the rest of them had considered the logistical danger of it all - every superhero affiliated with the Avengers was in the room. Steve had reassured him that they would all be safe, not once had one of these dinners been interrupted before. 

“I mean Rhodes is hard to deal with sometimes but beyond that everyone is great. We’ve come a long way Buck.” Steve said, clapping Bucky on the shoulder. 

“Daddy.” A voice said from behind him, Freya stood there holding a plate of food. “Can I sit with you?” 

“Sure solnyshko.” Bucky said, taking the plate and placing it on the table before pulling her onto his lap. “Don’t spill it on your dress or your mother will kill me.” 

Freya nodded, carefully eating the Chinese food on her plate. “Uncle Steve are you coming to Disneyland for my birthday?” 

“We’re going to Disneyland?” Steve said, his face lighting up. “We haven’t been in ages.” 

“We went in June for Maggie’s birthday.” Nat said from across the table. She rose an eyebrow at Bucky. “You swore last time that we weren’t going back to Disneyland.” 

Freya gasped, turning to look at her father. 

“Daddy,’ she said seriously. “I love Disneyland so much, if we don’t go back my heart would break” 

“I know you love Disneyland sweetheart, I just thought we might go on a different holiday this year.” Bucky said not loving the disappointed look on his daughters face, or Steve’s for that matter. 

“I don’t ever want to go anywhere else.” Freya said. Bucky sighed. 

“We haven’t made plans yet, Freya wants to go for her birthday.” Bucky said to Steve. “I’ll keep you all posted.” 

Tony tapped his glass with a knife, standing and raising his glass. Nat rolled her eyes, “I’d like to raise a toast.” Bucky laughed as Freya held up her juice box. 

“We’re all gathered here, coming from near and far to share in another fantastic meal together. As a child I could never have imagined family like this, loud meals spent watching our children grow and sharing in our lives together.” Tony looked over to Pepper who nodded with a smile on her lips. “Sometimes our family goes through bad times, I know we’re all thinking of Bucky and Darcy as they continue making the most of a tough situation but hard times make the good times better. Pepper and I are very excited to announce that our family will be growing by one more in about six months.” 

The room erupted with noise, Steve standing and walking around the table to wrap Tony in a tight hug. Bucky rose his beer bottle in congratulations. 

“Oh,’ Tony said as the noise died down. “Also it’s a boy.” 

The night continued on, the mood more excited as the news made everyone celebrate. It wasn’t long before Tony slid into the seat next to Bucky, Freya had escaped to play but Bucky now held a sleeping Maggie on her chest. Nat sat across from them, toying with label on her beer bottle.

“You know we’ve got spare rooms here if you want to put her down.” Tony said, Bucky shook his head. Running her fingers through Maggie’s short brown curls. She took a deep breath, snuggling in tighter to her fathers chest. “I get it man, I get the same with Morgan. There’s nothing better than little girls.” 

“Oh I don’t know, a little boy will be good fun.” Bucky said and Tony’s eyes sparkled. Bucky wondered if he would ever have a son, someone to carry on his name. Or if he and Darcy would be destined for more girls - if you have anymore kids, the voice in his head reminded him. 

“I want a baby.” Nat said quietly and Bucky and Tony turned to look at her. Bucky’s eyes widened and be scanned the room to see if Steve was within earshot. He was busy, playing human jungle gym to the children on the other side of the room. 

“I can’t see Old Man Rogers being opposed to living the American dream with you kid.” Tony said, grinning as he took a sip from his scotch glass. “You thought about asking him?”

“I don’t think it’s medically possible.” She said quietly. Bucky frowned, shifting in his seat. Suddenly memories of dark hallways and women screaming in Russian came flooding back. He saw Nat, much younger than she was now sobbing as a doctor wheeled her down a hallway. Away from him. 

“If Terminator here could have babies after what Hydra did to his body I’m positive Stevie can give you a kid.” Tony opened his mouth to continue and Bucky cut him off. 

“The Red Room,’ he said quietly. “I’m so sorry Natalya.” 

She shrugged, a few tears falling down her face. “I mean it’s no big deal, made sense for them to sterilise us all. Couldn’t exactly be an assassin with a baby waiting for you at home.” 

Tony rubbed his hands over his mouth, trying as best he could to mask the horror he was feeling. The horror Bucky and Nat had lived for so long. 

“There could be something medically I could try and do.” Tony whispered and Nat shook her head. 

“No, not this time Tony.” She looked over at Steve, smiling wistfully as she watched him throw Freya in the air. “That’s why I have to end me and Steve. I can’t keep holding him back when there’s a whole world out there, he could be happy. Truly happy, without me.” 

“Thats bullshit.” Bucky said, Nat simply lifted a perfectly plucked eyebrow in response. “You think Tony and I don’t know what it feels like to think you’re holding someone back? You don’t get to choose who you love. He loves you, Nat. Loves you in a way I didn’t think I’d see him love anyone ever again, this wouldn’t be a deal breaker for him so why are you letting it be a deal breaker for you?” 

She looked at her hands, trying to urge the shaking to stop. “I’m scared.” 

“We all are kid, nothing worth fighting for isn’t a little scary.” Tony said. “Besides, you want a baby that bad, there’s ways to have a baby.” 

“Like adopting?” Nat scrunched up her nose. 

“Or surrogacy,’ Tony said with a shrug. “I’m sure I could even do a little test tube creation for you both.” 

“I’ll probably pass on the last option thanks Stark.” Nat said and Tony shrugged. Steve was watching them now, Bucky could feel his best friends eyes on the back of his neck. 

“Fact remains kid. You gotta talk to the Captain at some point, stop this silly game you’re playing.” Tony said and Bucky nodded, feeling Steve’s hand squeezing his shoulder as he stood behind him. 

“What are we talking about?” Steve asked. 

“How much of a punk you are.” Bucky said without missing a beat, his left eye dropping into a wink at Nat as she smiled gratefully. 

“You’re the punk.” Steve ribbed in response. “Darcy was saying you guys have to get a move on, Freya’s coming down from a very impressive sugar high and Darce is worried she’s going to lose it.” 

Bucky sighed, raising an eyebrow at Nat as he stood. Silently asking her if she was really sure she wanted kids. He helped Darcy gather their things, carrying a very tired Freya in one arm and a still fast asleep Maggie in the other. 

“Thanks Tony, congratulations again to you and Pepper.” Bucky said as Tony walked them out. Darcy unlocked the car running around to open both back doors so they could try and make the transition of getting the girls from Bucky’s arms to the car seats as seamless as possible. 

“You’re doing better.” Tony said and Bucky shrugged. “You are, you might not remember but you’ve adapted seamlessly. It’ll come back Bucky.” 

He nodded. “I know it will, until then I’m going to enjoy them. I didn’t think I’d ever get to experience this in my life, it’s hard to not feel lucky you know?”

Tony nodded. “Better than most Barnes, better than most.”


	10. Ten.

Freya was a hopeless dancer. She’d clearly gotten her two left feet from her mother because Bucky was and had always been light and nimble on his feet. What she lacked in talent though, Freya more than made up for in enthusiasm. 

Bucky snorted as Freya stumbled over yet another turn, her bright pink tutu sparkling in the stage lights. The ballet recital had been the talk of the Barnes house for the last week and Freya had woken the house up at four that morning to ask if she could get ready for her the dance yet. Bucky had sent her back to bed, tucking her in and considered locking her door on his way back to his own bed. 

He glanced over at Darcy, her eyes sparkling with tears as she watched their daughter on the stage. Bucky reached his hand out, wrapping it around Darcy’s and squeezing softly. On his right knee he bounced an excited Maggie up and down, keeping her from yelling out for her sister too loudly. 

“She’s horrible.” Steve whispered into Bucky’s ear. He’d shown up with Nat, their hands tightly entwined and when Bucky had raised an eyebrow to them both they’d each given him a look that said he wouldn’t be getting any insider information. “Honestly Buck, she’s so bad.” 

“I know,’ Bucky said stifling another laugh. The song ended and Freya curtsied, a huge grin on her face as she looked out into the audience. “Gets it from her mother.” 

Darcy hit his arm, clearly he wasn’t as quiet as he thought he’d been. He turned his head back towards her, dropping his lips to her ear as he did. 

“You know that’s all you doll.” Bucky said and Darcy shook her head, adamant he was wrong. “Did we not meet because you spilt your drink all over me, tripping over when my good lucks stunned you?” 

Darcy scoffed as the lights came on in the theatre. “Make sure you don’t trip over that ego baby. It’s getting bigger by the damn day.” 

She took Maggie from him, pressing a kiss to the girls cheek and fussing over her. Bucky followed her out of the aisle, Steve and Nat walking along behind them. Freya was waiting in the lobby, the mother who had been put in charge of the fourteen tiny girls in pink failing to keep the noise down. 

“Daddy!” Freya yelled, launching herself at her father as she saw him. Bucky was quick to react, scooping the little girl up in his arms and spinning her around. “Did you see me, wasn’t I good?” 

“So good Solnyshko,’ Bucky pressed a soft kiss to her cheek. “Daddy is so proud of you. You made Mommy cry.” 

Freya’s jaw dropped, and she made a squeal of delight. “Did you really cry?” 

Darcy nodded, smoothing her hand over Freya’s hair. “You were so good. You’re such a good girl Frey.” 

“Am I good enough to go to Disneyland?” She asked and the adults laughed. Darcy looked at Bucky, raising an eyebrow. Bucky nodded. 

“Yeah baby, good enough to go to Disneyland.” Freya cheered and much to Bucky’s amusement so did Steve. Bucky led them from the auditorium after Darcy had used Nat to translate her thanks to the old Russian lady that still scared Bucky. 

“You guys coming over for dinner?” Bucky asked Steve as he loaded the girls into his truck. Steve and Nat nodded. Darcy rested against the back, glancing at him before she spoke.

“Why don’t you go with Steve to the store and I’ll drive home with Nat?” Bucky shrugged and threw his keys to his wife, not surprised as she fumbled them. He followed Steve to his car, sliding into the black truck. 

“So you and Nat huh?” Bucky said as he watched Darcy and Nat drive out of the lot. Steve shrugged, unable to stop the huge grin spreading across his lips. 

“She uh,’ Steve didn’t know what to say. He was no less awkward now than he had been in the 40’s. “She told me that she’s in love with me, we’re um going to get married.” 

“Married?” Bucky said turning his head to look at his best friend. Steve grinned even wider. “Shit man, I’m happy for you.” 

“I never saw this happening for me, not after everything we’ve been through. You and Darcy gave me hope, I’m doing this because of you Bucky,’ Steve said. “You’ll be my best man of course.” 

“Of course.” Bucky said nodding. “I’m happy for you Steve, if anyone deserves all this it’s you.” 

Steve hummed, tapping his fingers on the steering wheel. 

“I think I want to get out.” Steve said and Bucky turned to look at him. He wasn’t really sure what to say in response but he had an idea where the conversation was about to go. 

“Well you’re driving punk, so if you need to get out I’d suggest pulling over first.” Bucky said, opting for humour. Steve snorted before his jaw clenched again, he was being serious. “If you’re done, then you’re done Steve. You don’t owe anything to anyone.” 

“I just,’ Steve sighed. “I want a normal life you know. I want to have kids and coach little league and not have to worry about being called away to fight aliens or blow up Hydra bases.” 

“I get it man,’ Bucky said. “I think everyone would understand.” 

“You don’t think it’s selfish?” He asked. Bucky simply scoffed, surely he was joking. 

“We’ve been fighting a war for someone else since the 1940’s Steve. If you’re ready to hang it all up, then we hang it up.” 

“We?” Steve shook his head. “No Buck, don’t leave on account of me.” 

“Steve I’m still here on account of you. I told you back in England that I wasn’t following Captain America into battle, I was following that skinny punk from Brooklyn who didn’t know when to call it quits. That’s who I’m still following now and if he’s done then my time is definitely fucking done.” 

Steve nodded, his eyes scanning Bucky’s face to make sure he was sure. 

“We’re really gonna do this?” He framed it as a question even though it clearly wasn’t one. 

“I’m sure Darce will be thrilled. Not that I remember these arguments but I’ve been told a few times she hates this whole super hero shit.” Bucky joked. 

“Yeah, I’ve been on the receiving end of your wife more than once. If you can get all your memories back without those than you’ll be a happy man.” Steve said, pulling the car into the parking lot. “God, what will we do? Finally retiring.” 

Bucky shrugged. “You could always draw, maybe sell some of that art everyone keeps telling you to sell.” 

Steve blushed, still so unaware of his own talent and ability. Bucky didn’t know what he would do without a war to fight in. He wondered about the actual logistics of it all, would they have to turn in a resignation form to Tony and would their friends really understand why they wanted out? 

He needed to talk to Darcy, this decision was one they very clearly needed to make together. Not that he figured she would protest too much. He wanted to talk to Tony first though, make sure getting out wasn’t going to be something that they said now and couldn’t do for another ten years. He didn’t want to fill Darcy with false hope. 

“You could build, do something with your hands. You’ve always been good at that.” Steve said and Bucky shrugged, it wasn’t untrue. Obviously whatever he did next he would need to speak to Darcy about as well. For the first time in years the most important team he belonged to wasn’t The United States Army or the Avengers. It was his family, that was his team now. “Whatever we decide to do, We’re together.” Steve continued.

“Till the end of the line pal.”


	11. Eleven.

“Hey kid.” Bucky said as he opened his front door. Peter Parker stood on his doorstep, one hand shoved deep in his pocket and an embarrassed look on his face. “You wanna come in?” 

“Sure that would be great.” Peter came in and looked around the house awkwardly. It was silent, Darcy and the girls were with Jane and Nat on a shopping trip that Bucky had been more than happy enough to excuse himself from. “Is Mrs Barnes home?” 

“Fuck,’ Bucky said with a grimace. “Call her Darcy kid, she’d kill me if she knew I let people call her Mrs Barnes.”

“Sorry.” Peter shuffled awkwardly again and Bucky wondered why the hell this kid was even in his house. 

“She’s not here, just me and you.” Bucky walked towards the kitchen. “I know you’re not old enough for beer but can I get you a soda or a juice?” 

“Ah no,’ Peter said as he took a seat at the breakfast bar. “I wanted to ask you some advice.” 

Bucky nearly choked on the sip of beer he’d just taken, turning away from the fridge to face the teenager sitting in his kitchen. There was absolutely no topic he could think of that Peter Parker would find advice from him helpful. He crossed his arms over his chest and leant against the kitchen island. 

“Shoot,’ Bucky said. 

“Well it’s about a girl you see, or maybe more than one girl.” Peter said and Bucky raised an eyebrow, the hint of a smirk on his lips. “It’s just we’re studying you and Cap in history at the moment and they keep telling us how you were this crazy ladies man and so I figured you might be able to help me.” 

“Aren’t you super close with Tony?” Bucky said. He was way out of his depth for this conversation, he might be a parent but parental advice was not something he was ready to be dishing out. Parental advice in regards to dating is also something he refused to ever dish out to his daughters.

“He’s kinda like my dad is all, it’s kind of weird to talk to your dad about stuff like this. I thought I’d go to Sam but I figured he would just laugh at me and I don’t think it’s appropriate to bother Steve with stuff like this.” Peter said, speaking so fast Bucky was lucky to make out what he was even saying. 

“This isn’t like a sex talk right?” Bucky said. “Schools teach you how all that works these days don’t they because I’m not sure I’m the right person to explain the birds and the bees to you.” 

“It’s not that.” Peter sighed. “I think I’m dating two girls at once and I’m not sure what I should do.” 

“You think I’m the right guy to come to about seeing two girls at the same time?” Bucky said, the smirk full blown now and Peters face flushed with embarrassment. “Don’t worry kid, I’m kind of flattered. Not sure my wife would be impressed, so it’s lucky she’s not here. Tell me about this mess you’re in.” 

“Well,’ Peter took a deep breath, clearly about to unload on Bucky. “There’s this girl MJ right and I’ve been into her for ages but she’s kind of abrasive and a little bit scary so it’s been hard to get her to notice me but i guess she finally has and we’ve been seeing each other and it’s great, really great.” 

Bucky nodded, waiting for Peter to continue telling his story. “The only problem is this girl moved in next door to me and she’s like the complete opposite of MJ. I really like her and I just don’t know what to do. I’ve wanted to be with MJ for so long but it’s not what I thought it would be.” 

“That’s pretty normal kid.” Bucky said, leaning forward on the counter. “You’re only sixteen, stop putting so much pressure on it. It’s pretty easy to think you want something or someone and once you get them you realise you don’t want that.” 

“So you think I should dump MJ?” Peter asked and Bucky shrugged. 

“If you’re not into it then yeah, be honest with her.” Bucky heard noise from the garage, and then two sets of feet running through the living room. 

“Dad!” Maggie shouted, throwing herself at her father. Freya was strangely quiet as she ran into the kitchen, stopping short as her eyes landed on Peter. Darcy and Jane followed along, their hands full of shopping bags. Bucky’s jaw clenched as Jane sent a glare in his direction. She hadn’t been in the house since that night he’d driven her home, Darcy had said Jane was having some issues and didn’t feel comfortable at their house. Bucky could only assume they had to do with him.

“Oh hey,’ Darcy said. “How are you Peter?” 

“Good thanks Mrs Barnes.” Bucky stifled a laugh as Darcy glared directly at the teenager. “I mean Darcy, sorry. Hey Freya, how are you?” 

Freya had taken up a hiding spot behind Bucky’s leg, her arm wrapped tightly around his thigh. She blushed when Peters attention was on her before leaving the kitchen and running towards her bedroom. 

“What was that about?” Bucky said. Darcy laughed, taking Maggie from Bucky and turning to the fridge to fill up her sippie cup. 

“Your daughter has her first crush on Mr Parker here.” Darcy said and Peter’s face flushed. Bucky felt his throat close slightly and he felt a rush of unreasonable anger towards the teenage boy, suddenly desperate to get him out of his house. 

“Right,’ Bucky said. “Peter was actually just going. Weren’t you Peter?” 

“Sure was,” He said. “See you Darcy.” 

Bucky saw Peter out, making his way slowly back to the kitchen. Jane’s voice once again stopping him as he approached it. 

“He’s leaving.” She said and Darcy hummed in response. “Darce I’m not kidding, Steve and Bucky are leaving together. Thor was telling me they’ve decided to leave the Avengers.” 

“Ok?” Darcy questioned and Bucky considered stepping in now. He hesitated a moment longer, interested in where Jane was going to take this. 

“He’s finally doing what I told you he would do. Steve has decided to pack it in and he’s going to cling to him and run off. How do you know that this amnesia thing is even real? It could just be a convenient excuse to mask whatever tiny amount of guilt he might have in regards to leaving.” Jane said, Darcy didn’t respond and Bucky took that as a sign that it was time to intervene. “Bucky’s going to leave you and the girls for good, I’m telling you.” 

“Where are you going Daddy?” Freya said from behind him and Bucky swore. Her eyes were filled with tears as he turned around, scooping her up in his arms as he stepped into the kitchen. 

“I want you out of my house.” He said coldly, glaring at Jane as he did. Darcy looked concerned, the conversation had clearly sparked doubts in her. 

“Do you deny it then?” Jane asked and Bucky shook his head, his shirt sleeve wet with Freya’s tears. 

“It’s none of your business. I won’t ask you to leave again, see yourself out or I’ll show you the way.” Bucky said. Jane scoffed indignantly, turning to Darcy to defend her. 

“Jane, just go.” Darcy said softly, her eyes not leaving the marble bench top. “I’ll call you.” 

“You’re making a mistake Darcy.” Jane said. “I’ve been saying it for years but choosing Bucky will always be a mistake.” 

Bucky watched her leave, the front door rattling in the frame as she slammed it behind her. Darcy stood across from him for a moment, her bottom lip clamped tightly between her teeth. 

“You’re joking right.” He said. “You are actually considering what she just said to you.” 

“Well,’ Darcy hesitated and Bucky scoffed. He turned, not listening to Darcy’s shouts as he carried Freya to her room. He shut the door behind him, locking it and choosing to settle his daughter instead. Not sure how to face Darcy when all he could feel was red hot anger towards her, he had felt like they’d moved past this, suddenly he wasn’t so sure.

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you think!


End file.
